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While I'm Awake I'm At War

by Flip Grater

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1.
After the scene I was walking away Tired and divorced of my wounds While I was singing you silenced me Asked me to tell you the truth What were you thinking the other day When I lay alone in my womb And what did you think when I called out your name Did you think I had called you too soon And it has been raining for days now And I haven’t moved from my space on the floor Your arms are the only place that I know Where I can escape from it all Sane is all I am asking for Crazy is all that I get You may be what I am crying for But you are the way I forget While I am praying would you walk with me And stay when I slow to a crawl When I’m alone would you cover me For while I’m awake I’m at war And it has been raining for days now And I haven’t moved from my space on the floor Your arms are the only place that I know Where I can escape from it all
2.
I’ve started a diary Please burn it when I die It’s not me naked Just a written kind of sigh I’ve started a lesson In the history of art I may not be winning But at least I’ve made a start …. Drop in for a line Stop by for couple of drinks sometime I’m willing to cry all night If it would make you think that I’ll be alright …. I’ve started a diary Please burn it when I die It’s not me naked Just a written kind of sigh I’ve started a choir To sing my one true lie And listen from one side of the wall at a time
3.
Find Me 02:28
Where would you go to find me Politeness won’t do Who would you fight to save me That won’t do Where would you go to find me Someone else's bed Ever wondered where you’d find me If you came in Where would you go to find me Politeness won’t do Who would you fight to save me That won’t do
4.
Careful 03:30
Paris saw me lonely Strolling the streets Bottle in hand Sunk knee deep And Paris saw me dance Like a spinning top Guided by the lights With no plan to stop Be careful how you lay your hands on me I may not be as tough as I seem Be careful what you say to me I may not be as strong as you think Be careful with your hands Around my neck I’m not ready to go I don’t want to die yet And kindness never killed Not sure it could Freedom only counts If it’s understood Be careful how you lay your hands on me I may not be as tough as I seem Be careful what you say to me I may not be as strong as you think
5.
There was just one thing I wanted to leave you with It was a golden trinket There was just one thing I wanted to say before I left It was a warning about how our lives have been spent Oh how could we’ve been so wrong Oh how can I have worn you so long There was just one song I wanted to leave you with But I could not sing it There was just one thing I wanted to say before I left It was memory of how we were before we met Oh how could we’ve been so wrong Oh how could I have worn you so long
6.
I Am Gone 03:25
I’m already gone You are all alone Like a widow born From failing to notice Was I ever wrong Was I far from where we started I’m already gone I am gone None of this counts for nothing A kiss on the mouth means nothing I’m already gone Say you’re gonna miss me Drunk and dumb I’m drowning On my own Just as I predicted Right where I belong I’m already gone I am gone None of this counts for nothing A kiss on the mouth means nothing
7.
Oh My Word 02:54
If you plan to stand still would you move aside If you can be locked down God knows I have tried Oh my word I’ve been waiting For you to walk on by Oh my word I’ve been staying Inside safe and dry Will you live underground And crawl out when it’s light Do you fail to stand up And stand in when it’s right Oh my word I’m just saying Would you aim this high Oh my word I’m just waiting For you at my side
8.
My Old Shoes 03:06
My old shoes Were not used I wonder If I could have told you Was that you Sold the line About living now Or dying My old shoes Are beaten and torn My old shoes Have never been worn Is it true I will be Completely Alone My old shoes Were not used I wonder If I should have told you
9.
I worry every day About everything and nothing at all And I wonder if you’d ride The bullet or you’d fall If only we were allowed to be I would promise myself away If only life weren’t a sad sad movie Just for a day We would ride away I guess I’ll say goodbye To the lovers in my mind I guess I am on the fly Like the bullet that I ride If only we were allowed to be I would promise myself away If only life weren't a sad sad movie Just for a day We would ride away
10.
Low Light 02:49
The low light Was over the low lands Over the ruins Under the night So all my life I have been meaning to come through But I disappoint you Every time Tell me you're lonely Tell me your news Tell me I’m nothing Without you The low light Was over the low lands Over the ruins Under the night
11.
Be Kind 04:38
Be kind For once Like I Am not Lie Just once This time For love It’s not A crime To make Me smile When I go I’ll hold This mind Of mine So be kind For once Like I Am not

credits

released July 12, 2010

Produced by Tim Guy, Engineered by Olly Harmer at The Lab, Auckland, NZ

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Flip Grater Paris, France

Paris-based New Zealand singer-songwriter Flip Grater has a penchant for sharing. Apart from memoirs and recipes, she pens highly personal, nostalgic and at times melancholic indie-folk songs.

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